It seems couples are living together before marriage more than ever.  Is that a wise decision?  Let’s look at the pros and cons of MARRIAGE VS LIVING TOGETHER.

MARRIED PEOPLE…

• …ARE HAPPIER!
• …ARE BETTER OFF FINANCIALLY.
• …ARE MORE SUCCESSFUL AT WORK.
• …HAVE A BETTER SEX LIFE.
• …FIGHT LESS.
• …TEND TO BE BETTER PARENTS.

LIVING TOGETHER…

• …TWICE AS LIKELY TO HAVE AFFAIRS.
• …MORE LIKELY TO BREAK UP.
• …MORE LIKELY TO LIVE IN POVERTY.
• …MORE LIKELY TO HAVE CHILDREN WITH EMOTIONAL AND BEHAVORIAL PROBLEMS.
• …LESS LIKELY TO MARRY AND STAY MARRIED.

Love does not demand its own way.

  Love always protects, always trusts.

    Love is patient, kind, and humble.

Have you found yourself in one or more of these situations?

1. Pregnant and you know morally abortion is out of the question.
2. Financially you just can’t afford to raise a baby on your own.
3. You already have a child or children and you feel they might be better off being raised by another family.

There are three types of adoptions:

• Open
• Partially Open
• Confidential

Open Adoption

1. You as the Mother can choose the family to raise your baby.
2. Open adoption means you can keep in contact with them through communication, letters, pictures, phone calls and even visits.

Partially Open

1. With this option you can choose what kind of family you would like to raise your baby.
2. However, unlike open adoption where you can have personal contact with the family, you will be working through an adoption agency or an adoption lawyer to find out how your child is doing through pictures or letters. You usually will not know your child’s full name or location.

Confidential Adoption

I was pregnant and didn’t know what to do.  One day I wanted to have the baby and the next day I didn’t.  Looking back, I realize now that I was on an emotional seesaw.  This went on for weeks until I finally decided on abortion.  I was 12 weeks pregnant, my clothes were getting tight and I was starting to show.

I arrived at the clinic in the morning.  It was a beautiful day in April.  I checked in, paid and waited with a group of 6–8 women in the waiting area.  We were called back into another room and given a pill to relax us.  One by one we were called to go down the hall to the room where they performed abortions.

As I sat in the room with the other women waiting for my name to be called, I changed my mind.  I told the nurse and walked outside.  The nurse followed me and we sat down in a patio area.  She told me that I had to get an abortion and there were no other options for me.  Reluctantly, I went back in and immediately they took me into the procedure room.  I remember a poster on the ceiling, a cat hanging from a branch with the words “Hang in there.”  I also remember the vacuum noise and the pain.  The man performing the abortion was very cold and the procedure was very quick.  Next thing I knew I was sitting in a recovery area alone eating saltine crackers with cramps and bleeding. 

You may be considering a surgical abortion, but have no idea what is involved or what to expect.  Before making this decision it’s important to know the process and potential risks.

          WHEN: Up to 14 weeks LMP (last menstrual period)

                WHAT: Suction/Aspiration

                       HOW:  For surgical abortions performed while you are 4 to 7 weeks from LMP, a thin plastic tube will be inserted into the uterus and attached to a vacuum that will suction the fetus out.  Local anesthesia may be given to help reduce the pain, but sedation may also be given.

Well if you’re like me, you may know very little about STDs. When I started working at Care Net of Neosho, I couldn’t even pronounce the names let alone know what each one was.  Let’s get educated together…the name, how it’s transmitted, symptoms and treatment.

STDs are usually transmitted through sexual contact, including through bodily fluids or skin contact via vaginal, oral, and anal sex.

• Chlamydia – is the most common bacterial STD in men and women. Most infected people do not have symptoms – making it very important to get tested.  If symptoms are present, women may have a change in vaginal discharge or unusual vaginal bleeding.  Men can have painful urination, a penile discharge, or in men who have sex with men, rectal pain or discharge.  Chlamydia can be cured with treatment. Overtime, if chlamydia is not treated, it can cause serious damage to a woman’s reproductive system including making it more difficult to get pregnant and increasing the risk for a future ectopic pregnancy which I discussed on my last blog. 
• Gonorrhea – is a common bacterial STD. Most infected people do not have symptoms – making it very important to get tested.  If symptoms are present, women often have a vaginal discharge or unusual vaginal bleeding. Men can have painful urination, a penile discharge or in men who have sex with men rectal pain or discharge. Gonorrhea can cause complications if left untreated.  It can be cured with medication.
• Hepatitis – is a serious disease that can harm the liver. It is caused by a virus that can spread from person to person when their body fluids touch. This can happen in a few ways, like having sex or sharing needles. 
• Trichomoniasis- is caused by a parasite and is among the most common STD transmitted infection and affects men and women. Risk factors include multiple sexual partners and not using condoms during sex. Often people do not have any symptoms, but if they do, women can have vaginal irritation and discharge and men can have discharge from the penis or painful urination.  It can be cured with medication.
• Human Papillomavirus (HPV) – is a virus that can cause skin warts, genital warts and some forms of    cancer. People can get infected by having sex or genital contact.  Most people do not know they are infected and most infections resolve on their own without treatment.  However, if an infection with a high-risk type persists, it can cause oral cancer, cervical cancer, vulvar cancer, penile cancer, anal cancer, mouth and throat in both men and women.

When a pap test is done to detect cervical cancer, an HPV test can be done at the same time if needed.  There is no test for genital HPV in men. There is also no test for HPV in the mouth or throat. There is a HPV vaccine to prevent most high-risk infections. 

• Herpes – is a common STD caused by the herpes simplex virus. It can cause sores and blisters on the mouth and/or genitals or it can be present with no symptoms at all.  If sores are present, testing can be done from the fluid or a blood sample can show if a person has been exposed.  There is no cure for herpes but medication can be used to suppress it. 
• Syphilis – is a bacterial STD that is increasing in the United States. It is usually contracted after coming into direct contact with an infected sore during vaginal, anal, or oral sex.  If untreated, it can cause serious health problems.
• HIV – stands for human immunodeficiency virus. It weakens a person’s immune system by destroying important cells that fight disease and infection.  There is no effective cure but it can be managed with medications.

HIV is spread through blood, semen, or vaginal fluids from an infected person’s body, through sexual contact, needle sharing or from an infected mother to her baby during birth.  It can be detected through a blood test.

Well, I’ve been a little more educated, how about you?  If you are reading this blog and are concerned you may have been exposed to a STD, please call Care Net Pregnancy Resource Center at 415.455.0100 to be tested.  We can perform Gonorrhea or Chlamydia testing anytime we are open by taking a urine sample or if you suspect you’ve been exposed to HIV or Syphilis, call and schedule an appointment for a blood draw.

The What, When, Where, Why and How of a tubal pregnancies.

     What is a tubal (ectopic) pregnancy and what are the symptoms?

Pregnancy begins with a fertilized egg.  Normally the fertilized egg attaches to the lining of the uterus.  A tubal pregnancy grows outside the main cavity of the uterus. 

Early symptoms of a tubal pregnancy can be very similar to typical pregnancy symptoms. However, you may experience additional symptoms during a tubal pregnancy, including:

     The morning-after pill is a form of emergency contraception.  Emergency contraception is any type of birth control used after unprotected sex or if contraceptive failure such as, a broken condom to attempt to prevent pregnancy.  The morning-after pill, also known as Plan B, is the most commonly used emergency contraceptive. The morning-after pill is not the same as the abortion pill and should not be used to end a pregnancy.  It is recommended to be taken within 72 hours of sex. 

          BEFORE you decide to take the morning-after pill…it is best to get a pregnancy test to determine whether or not you have a viable pregnancy.  You can only become pregnant on certain days of the month – around the time that you ovulate. If you have a normal cycle ovulation would occur two weeks after the 1^st day of your last cycle, so taking the morning-after pill during a time when you cannot become pregnant needlessly exposes you to large doses of hormones and costs you money.                                                              

              And if you are already pregnant from an earlier sexual encounter, taking the morning-after pill is of no value and may cause unpleasant side effects. 

                    A good question to ask is, is it safe?  Like most medicines, it comes with its share of side effects which should last a day or so, but could last up to two weeks.  Plan B side effects can mimic pregnancy symptoms when you aren’t pregnant.  But if you have pregnancy symptoms and suspect you might be pregnant despite getting a period, go ahead and take a pregnancy test.  Other symptoms include: 

• Nausea or vomiting
• Dizziness
• Fatigue
• Headache
• Breast tenderness
• Bleeding between periods or heavier menstrual bleeding
• Lower abdominal pain or cramps.

If you have taken the morning-after pill and symptoms persist, please seek medical attention. 

     Do you have any of these symptoms?

         No Period…

                     Appetite Change…

                               Frequently Tired…

                                          Swollen or sore breast…

Everyone is WELCOME!

          All services are free and confidential.

               We offer… Pregnancy Test

                                      Ultrasounds (up to 3 months)

                                           Limited STD

 Did you just find out that you are pregnant?

     And it wasn’t the result you were hoping for.

          Are you thinking about taking the abortion pill?

     I just want to encourage you that you have time to be informed before you make any decision for your health and safety.  It is best to get an ultrasound before any abortion, medical or surgical.  An ultrasound exam can confirm the status of your pregnancy.

An ultrasound will:

Relationships... we all have them. Some we can't choose, like our parents, siblings, aunts, uncles or cousins. But
others we have the power to choose. We get to choose who we hang out with. Our friends, our boyfriend or our
girlfriend are our choices. And it's so important to be wise when we make these choices. So, for a moment... think
about your boyfriend. Is he usually…

Kind to you?
Does he respect your feeling and thoughts?
Does he say things that build you up?
Does he listen to you?

Or does he usually…

Try to control you?
Does he lie to you?
Does he put you down in front of others?
Does he pressure you to do things you are uncomfortable doing? Like having sex.

I encourage you to honestly evaluate your relationship. Is it a healthy and well rounded? While there is
no such thing as a perfect relationship and there’s always things to work on, it’s important to have a
good foundation of trust, respect and to have a feeling of stability and security.

When you have scratch on your leg and the bleeding won’t stop, what do you do? You go to the medicine cabinet and get a Band-aid to cover and protect the wound and stop the bleeding. When you are cooking and cut your hand with a knife, what do you reach for? A Band-aid, something that will cover your wound and protect it from germs, leading to infection.

                When you have an unplanned pregnancy and your heart is breaking, mind racing, what do you do? You are looking for a way to cover it up, stop the pain, and be “healed”; the phone call for an abortion comes to mind immediately. Many times abortion is seen as a quick fix, a Band-aid, a temporary solution to a bigger problem.

                When I had my abortion, I was looking forward to getting my life back to normal. I wanted to stop my unwanted pregnancy from being on my mind constantly, but my abortion experience wasn’t the quick fix that I had hoped for. I wasn’t prepared for or aware of the “triggers” that I would be experiencing for years afterwards.

                If you are considering an abortion, you have the right to know you may experience flashbacks or memories of your abortion when you see, hear, smell, or feel things that you encountered during the time of your abortion. These can come days, weeks, and years later.

According to “Ramah’s Voice,” the following are eight of the most common triggers of post-abortion pain:

Initially many women feel relief after an abortion and look forward to getting their life back to where it was before they became pregnant. But days, weeks, months or even years later many emotions can surface as a result of an abortion decision. The following are several post-abortion emotional reactions that some women experience:

                Denial…

                                Shame…

                                                Regret…

                                                                Anger…

Some circumstances change us forever…like pregnancy.

Where will this journey end?

How will it end?

What decision do I need to make next?

Where do I find physical as well as emotional support?

Abortion on your mind?

Did you just find out that you are pregnant? Two lines on a pregnancy test weren’t what you were hoping for; I understand. Feelings you could be experiencing now are: fear, anxiety, dread, and just being overwhelmed. You may be looking for a fast way out, and abortion comes to your mind… “I just need to get this over with.”

May I just encourage you to slow down a moment? You have time to make an informed decision and get the facts first. Before you rush into a decision, just confirm that you are pregnant with a visit to a physician or a pregnancy resource center. Usually home tests are accurate, but there are many factors to consider, and there can be false positives. Then follow that up that pregnancy confirmation with an ultrasound exam. This will confirm the status of your pregnancy; this information is important. Did you know that…

…1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage

…the abortion pill will not work if you are experiencing a tubal pregnancy

First question to answer, are you certain you’re pregnant? 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage; Care Net PRC of Neosho offers free ultrasounds to confirm what your next steps will be.

Facing an unplanned pregnancy is hard. You may be facing many emotions right now – fear, confusion anxiousness, and more; it can be overwhelming. I understand; I had an unplanned pregnancy at 18 years old. I wanted a quick way out of my situation, so I chose abortion.

Before you decide on abortion, I encourage you to be informed. Get the facts before you rush into a decision.

This is not like taking Tylenol, as many would have you believe. Here are some facts:

• The abortion pill can only be taken up to 11 weeks of pregnancy.
• Two pills are required:

                                The first pill cuts off nutrients to the fetus so that it dies.

When checking out a new restaurant… you ask your friends who have been there to eat.

When questioning whether to watch a certain movie… you read the reviews of those who have seen it.                  

How much more carefully, then, should you seek out someone or someplace to advise you on a decision that will affect you physically, emotionally, and spiritually for the rest of your life? 

When deciding on whether to have an abortion… why not talk to someone who has been on this journey ahead of you and knows exactly what you are struggling with. 

Care Net Pregnancy Resource Center of Neosho is that someone…