Is your girlfriend pregnant?
Is she considering an abortion?
Do you feel you don’t have a say in the matter?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, let me tell you, you do have say.
Before any decisions are made, you need to sit back, breathe and talk to each other. A lot of times the girl is scared, she doesn’t want to embarrass her family, she wants to protect you, she may have career goals, she may not know how you really feel about her, is there a future together. Her biggest fear may be…ending up a single parent. Now is the time to decide to be responsible, speak up, and be a strong voice for the life of your unborn child.
When I was 17 and found myself pregnant, I was scared to tell my parents and my boyfriend. I was so afraid my parents would disown me and that I would lose my boyfriend, so I hid my pregnancy for 6 months. When it became obvious my mother asked me one day if I was pregnant…I said, yes, I think so. She went over to the barn where my dad was and told him. They both came back to the house and called our family doctor and he said to bring me in. I remember that doctor asking my parents if they wanted me to have an abortion and thankfully they both said, absolutely not! That evening I told my boyfriend that I was pregnant at a Friday night high school football game. Was he thrilled, uh that’s a big NO, but the two things I feared the most, the reason I hid it for 6 agonizing months didn’t happen. My parents still loved me and my boyfriend married me. He stepped up when he didn’t have to, and we’ve been married 48 years this month. Being married and a father at his young age was not in his playbook, but let me tell you, he’s been a loyal, hardworking, loving husband to me and an amazing dad to our son who is now 47. I am so proud that he had the courage to stand up for what was right…protecting me and someone that needed him to be the father/dad that he is to him. Was it the easiest, no.
Girls, is he pressuring you to terminate your pregnancy? Just know that you don’t have to. One of my friends was pressured by her boyfriend to end her pregnancy. Not only was she pregnant, but another girl was also pregnant with his child at the same time. Well, he chose the other girl and her baby and wouldn’t stop pressuring my friend to terminate her pregnancy until she finally gave in and terminated it. After the abortion he stopped talking to her.
Which kind of man do you want to be?
You may feel that your partner’s abortion will not affect you, but according to the “Before She Decides” booklet after her abortion some men may struggle with:
- Anger
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Feelings of Failure
- Feeling powerless
- Grief
- Relationship problems
Becoming a father is a big responsibility, but so rewarding. Don’t be passive, let your voice be heard in this decision.